I take it on the fucking chin about Danzig. –He is so self-important. Full of himself. Serious. Blah blah fucking blah fuck. –The deal is THIS you fucking COCKSMACKS: Danzig is fucking important. He is the steward and the father of several different subtypes of music, and gets credit for none of it AND Atlanta is a DANZIG town. Atlanta loves him, and floods his shows. Danzig played the Roxy –motherfuckers lined up out the door and six hours early. Danzig played Center Stage and brought Doyle –the underground buzzed for weeks before and after. Jerry brings a Misfits show to town, and fuck yes –we all drag our fucking skull shirts out of the closet along with ratty skull masks that we could sell on EBAY and cover the rent, but Danzig is to damn important so we lie to our landlords about the check being in the mail. –So the bullshit about Danzig being self-important doesn’t come from Atlanta. It primarily comes from critics of heavy music who like to sprinkle their self-important little verses with words like CUNT, because if you can type CUNT it means that you have taste and style –it probably also means you have never seen one, and you will never see one –let alone get laid, ever. Unless you pay for it, pay a lot for it. These same self-important non-cunt seeing people are the same people that think that every art cover by Cannibal Corpse is innovative and avant-garde. –The truth about that is this: If Cannibal Corpse came out with anything that was not totally gruesome as far as artwork went, people would howl. The covers have become a calling card and a trademark of sorts. Just the fact that some of those covers have been banned in Germany make THOUSANDS of hardcore German kids want them, and the metal community stands up and HOWLS censorship for poor Cannibal Corpse. (Look, before you fire up your email…I like the gruesome shit too. I have covered a ton of it, and I have stood in smoky little clubs for hours until my eardrums bled. I took pics of AS I LAY DYING ((BTW-Christian death metal band you silly bastards)) before they became precious and Tim let his hair grow out. I am just trying to make a point.) -Before there were bands like Avenged Sevenfold, there was Danzig. Little Synyster Gates might have a tattoo that says I like monsters, but Danzig was the original monster lover. Shit, he built a few bands around the idea, and more than one newcomer loves some Danzig. Check out that Escape The Fate video, Situations. Danzig shirt on one of those little fuckers-in just the sort of video that would have come straight out of one of his comic books. Blonde strippers with HUGE tits magically appear in school and come on to a bunch of teenage boys, and everything is okay because the situation is irrelevant and it’s the craziest thing. –Danzig was punk before it was cool (Misfits), goth before it was cool (Samhain), evil before it was cool (Danzig), and black before it was cool (Danzig). Think about this: Danzig does an interview with John Christ (BTW-I love your fucking guitar) in a graveyard, and talks about Christians and violence. In the interview he did not advocate violence, or put down Christians. Out rolls bands like Christian Death, and every other band shot is in a graveyard. Kids discover black nail polish and black hair dye and the goth movement is born. So, I am not the only one who finds Danzig important.
So the name of the tour –Blackest of The Black- fits perfectly. I have been rooting for this tour to hit and hit big for some time. I couldn’t have been more pleased to see the Tabernacle packed to the rafters, and it was such a great place for him to be in. The Tabernacle in Atlanta is an old Baptist church complete with the pipes from the organ in back of the stage. How goth, brutal, black, and fucking death is that? The Baptists in Atlanta once listened to fire and brimstone speeches from the place where Danzig sang such classics as Twist of Cain, Am I Demon, and White Devil Rise. He looked great in a bigger venue, and had Johnny Kelly from Type O Negative and Tommy Victor from Prong and Ministry along for the ride. -Speaking of Victor, he is starting to look more than a little strange to me since he has joined Ministry. The pageboy hair cut and the little moustache is a little fucked up. Every time I see him he looks different. I saw him at a Skid Row show last year, and he had short, spikey hair. I am thinking of digging out all my pics and doing a little slideshow on imeem or something and call it ‘The Many Faces of Tommy Victor.’ -Kelly, as always, was beautiful, perfect, and unique, but for me to say anything about Johnny Kelly isn’t fair. He is from New York. I love him, and I think he is perfect. He looks great whenever I see him, and I love the way he plays. He is never over the top –but I do appreciate that quality in others so do not spam me you little fuckers, lol. –And Glenn? You ALL know how I feel about Glenn. I may just have his love child. He was the first person whose music I wrote seriously about. He has been the subject of many photo shoots, and article ideas, and he appeals to the psychic in me. What can I say? He had me at Who Killed Marilyn. Defending Danzig as a musical force, to me, is like defending The Rolling Stones or Aerosmith. It is hard to fuck with a classic, but talking about it is important so that we remember where we came from.
So lets take a look at the choices and see what is what. Skeletonwitch is a beautiful little brutal band from Ohio. You may remember me saying in an Otep article that the Midwest seems to breed serial killers and rock stars. Or maybe serial killing rock stars. I am not so sure right now, lol. That seriously vicious and intense music comes from somewhere-I guess in a sense that we are all children of the corn. Skeletonwitch has an intense stage presence and brutal sound. Are they the Blackest of the Black? Too soon to tell, but they are going places. Danzig is famous for giving every little band a jump start. Can you say Devil Driver? Marduk? Behemoth? This little band has something that is going to be big after they hit a few more tours. You should probably go see them while you can afford a ticket. –Moonspell. I think I am developing a sick love affair with the Moonspell that is somewhat along the lines that I have for Opeth. No one can replace Opeth in my heart, but Fernando and Moonspell are simply poetry to watch and fill the void. They seem to be enhancing a sub-genre that I like to call brutal gothic metal (fathered by Danzig, enhanced by Opeth, mainstreamed by Avenged Sevenfold and Disturbed). Yes, it is good to be me. –And this note is for Fernando. I should be your promo shooter. Your pictures do NOT do you justice. They in NO WAY whatsoever indicate your photographer has EVER heard your music or has noticed your band name. You should also put out an intensely evil video, directed by Danzig. It would probably be black and white, under a full moon, very cool, and a fucking smash on HAVOC landing on FUSE shortly thereafter. –Dimmu Borgir and Shagrath. Evil is so pretty isn’t it Shag? I love the new blond streak that you have, and the epic metal your band outs out. Your drummer, bass player, and keyboard players are simply genius. –Dimmu Borgir’s brand of metal is like attending a symphony in a place like the Tabernacle. I am certain that they heard Dimmu across the street in the Phillip’s Arena. Intense and brutal, and a perfect lead in for the bluesy, evil Elvis himself-Danzig. –Yes, Blackest of the Black was memorable. I can’t wait for it to come back, and neither should you. Eventually, we will all follow it around like it is a Grateful Dead tour-but cooler with Satanic Altars and Danzig Tribal Fusion skulls all over the place.