Alice Cooper

Alice Cooper: It Is A Brutal Fucking Planet

Barbara Fara
MusicIncider Magazine

Brutal Planet was released by Alice Cooper in 2000 on Spitfire Records. Sometimes something is so fucking intelligent and excellent that it deserves a look and press well after the release. Look at it this way, Star Wars I came out years after Star Wars IV. Isn’t Cooper that fucking good? Doesn’t he deserve the prologue treatment like Lucas gave Star Wars? Music Incider thinks so. Baby Tender Love thinks so.
I don’t care what my fucking brother Charlie thinks. He doesn’t own my fucking magazine.
Brutal Planet is the first release in a three part trilogy. Dragontown is part two. What will part three be called? Heaven? Cooper is making the musical version of Dante’s Paradise, Purgatory and Hell. Brutal Planet is Hell.

BRUTAL PLANET-No matter what the fuck you do you can’t get out of this fucking hell. God made this beautiful fucking creation and we got sucked in by the snake. You told us you died for our sins, and I guess we are paying for yours. God is looking at the world as he created it-not how it really is. Come look you motherfucker. We made a Holocaust just for you.

WICKED YOUNG MAN-This is a story about two boys that wore leather trenches that got tired of being picked on and being ignored by everyone. One morning they wake up, and they plot their revenge and everybody fucking dies. The abuse made them cold blooded killers. They thought Hitler had all the answers. They thought the skinheads had the answers. Cooper’s message is: What fucking school is this in your neighborhood?

SANCTUARY-Cooper speaks for the average twenty year old kid and where he thinks his life is going. This kid doesn’t want to end up like his parents, but he knows he will. This kid gets up everyday and sees nothing but the madness of the treadmill. When is it going to end? He wants something more. The only fucking thing he is happy with is the locked door on his room. How many people do you know that need sanctuary?

BLOW ME A KISS-This fucking song reminds me about that kid in Wyoming. What has this kid ever done to you? You make him feel like a friend. You make him feel like a part of the crowd, then you wire him up to a fence in the freezing cold and shoot him-couldn’t you hear him begging for his life? Couldn’t you hear him begging for your life? I guess you couldn’t-he’s dead.

EAT SOME MORE-Gluttony. One of the seven deadly sins. You fucking pigbot, shouldn’t you share with that hungry guy on the corner or the person next door? You and your fucking fancy suits walking past the homeless to get home to a dinner not really hungry for. You could have given it to the homeless guy on the corner, or the family next door waiting for their next unemployment check. Instead, you move to the next one on the list-greed.

PICK UP THE BONES- Hello, I am one of the survivors of the Holocaust. I know what these death camps were about. I am here to verify it. I cannot disclose my position in these camps during the time of the war, but these acts of death did happen. Can’t you see it all happening again in front of our eyes? I need some help picking up the bones.

PESSI-MYSTIC- This poor lost soul does not need metaphysical help. He sees what exactly is going on. He sees it on the TV everyday, and he becomes this way because all you see on the news is either death or destruction. He does want to see this anymore, or hear it anymore.
He tells you how you all are being brainwashed. This man wants to know when things are going to change, and when he is going to wake up from this dark world he was sent to. He wants to see the world he once knew when he was a child. His world was happy and safe, and he wonders when this world is going to come back. He knows the truth-that the world is not getting better, but our government has us believing their lies. He wants them to either speak the truth or just shut the fuck up.

GIMME-Did Alice make a trip to the Crossroads in Mississippi before Vai did? Gimme your soul, and I will give you what you want. Cooper is playing a good fucking devil in this song. It sounds like he has the contract ready in hand. I would get my Firebird 2003 from him any day. I bet I could get my hard copy of MusicIncider too, complete with backers. If he wants to make a deal, I am ready. I can be contacted at my Atlanta office. He will know how to find me.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS-This is Cooper’s autobiography from the beginning until now. He’s not taking any more shit from anybody. I would not get on his bad side at this point in his life. He wants to be treated like a fucking human and have some respect. He does not want to be asked stupid fucking questions. He is not going to take anymore shit from the press/media or anyone around him cause he will take you down in a fucking flash, and you will not even see it coming.

TAKE IT LIKE A WOMAN-Do you realize than a woman gets hit every thirty seconds in this country? Does anybody give a shit? It looks like Alice does. He understands the victims. This ballad is for them. It encourages them to speak out and get help. I hope all of the fucking girlfriend beaters in the world hear it.

COLD MACHINES-This would be a great fucking song for the Matrix or the Terminator. Everybody was coded in those movies. Everybody is coded in everyday life. We have Social Security numbers, driver’s licenses, PIN numbers, credit cards, and we have to give a thumbprint at the bank. If you don’t play by the rules and get your numbers, you aren’t going to fit. Alice is warning us that there is more to come.

The album is a massive fucking hit. It is the Cooper I remember. He is reclaiming his throne. Watch out Manson, Cooper is coming to get you.

MusicIncider Magazine is a wholly owned and copyrighted subsidiary of Barbara Ann Fara, Inc.

About this Article

This article was written by Barbara Fara and is identified as Article #12.
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