Big Baby Satan
Big Baby Satan
We received a CD from a band called Big Baby Satan, so we decided to give it a listen and do a short review on it… The album is conveniently unnamed (sarcasm) and displays a cover picture of a baby’s hand emerging from some cheesy ass flames. In the middle of the baby’s hand lays a Baphomet. In big letters just below the baby’s hand is “Big Baby Satan”. Oooooh, scary stuff! Now that the marvelous cover has enamored me, I open up the CD case. Not to my surprise, the CD has more pixilated and goofy flames. The name of the band members is listed, as are the track titles. Everything about this album screams low budget and pure corny amateurism. Sure, everyone has to start somewhere… But I haven’t told you about how little skill these guys seem to come equipped with.
As soon as the first track sounded off I knew I was in for some truly pathetic musicianship and song writing. As the album advanced it became clear that I was right. There are 9 songs on this album; about 22 minutes of total play. Before I get ahead of myself, let me give the names of the 3 band members. Kerry Merkle does vocals, Mike Hymson does drums, and Larry Forman does both guitar and bass. Every single song on this album was as basic and amateur as it comes. I can only see it getting worse from a group of guys that can’t play the instruments at all. Every drum set was simple and repetitive as hell, absolutely no range was displayed, and certainly minimal skill was the most I gathered from it all. The guitar riffs were very basic also. Pick two or three notes, find a simple tempo, and strum… Throw in some distortion here and there, maybe a very pathetic guitar solo, and voila. The lead singer, and I do have trouble calling him a singer, barely sung. It was more of a groan and talk style. All of the lyrics were very amateur and simplistic. I could grab a 2nd grade class and have them put together more interesting and skill induced lyrics. There was one song, the very last, in which the lead singer actually attempted singing. It was horrific. He was completely out of tune, shaky, and it hurt my ears. Pathetic!
To conclude my bitching, I leave you with more bitching. This album sucks, this band sucks, and it’s no wonder no one on earth, minus 4 people outside of their friends, have heard of them. They have no web site, no booking information, no contact information, nothing to show that they exist as a band besides this piece of shit album. If you ever have the unfortunate occurrence of coming across one of their 10 CDs made, do not, under any circumstances, listen to it. It is 22 minutes of my life I will never get back and for that I’m pissed.
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