Music Incider reviews Rob Zombie’s Educated Horses –
Music Incider Magazine
Rob. I have loved his music since La Sexorcisto: Devil Music, Volume 1. All of his music is sleazy and sexy -c’mon…American Music To Strip By? It puts him musically in the same vein as all of my favorites-Cooper, Danzig, and Steele. Let me tell you little bastards reading this-Zombie is music to fuck by. Especially Educated Horses. -To me, music either makes some sort of statement, it is an emotional release, or it is about sex. Zombie is sex, sex and blood. It is hot. -But I simply do not believe he was a production assistant on Pee Wee’s Playhouse. I do believe he did design on a porn mag. So ask yourself-why in the hell is Zombie such an underground legend? Is it the fascination that we all have with horrific bullshit that people are afraid to discuss? Is it the beautiful sleazy guitars? The Devils Rejects and House of 1000 Corpses? -No. It is vision. Everything Zombie has ever done has started with a vision-and once he has a vision it never changes. That vision is only for the sexy people-and everybody wants to be one of the sexy people. -I could give you all that blah, fucking, blah about he was born January 12th and did this album and he is from Massachusetts. He directed this and that and works for Universal-blah, blah….Wanna know the truth? Zombie is a vampire. It isn’t much of a stretch to figure out where Anne Rice got her Lestat now is it? Really, I have been thinking about it for years. I own everything the man ever did-I even have that Jack In The Box toy that came out a few years ago. Think it through-in the second book, Lestat became a musician. That is about the time Zombie launched and started playing to the underground. Lestat always used sex and horror to rope us in, and that is how Zombie caught the public eye. Zombie even has that flowing hair she mentions in the book. -What a perfect place for a Vampire to hide, in plain sight of us all. Directing horror movies-something that he probably has first hand knowledge about. Writing spooky little cartoons like Elsuperbeasto. Songs about drag racing, robots, and evil clowns? He had to throw people off of the trail. With his voice, he could make Mary Had A Little Lamb sound sexy and spooky. -The new photos of him are softer and sexy. The classic dreads are gone, but I am good with that. A vampire has to change their looks every now and again. -Look for John 5 and Tommy Lee on this CD.
I went out and purchased Educated Horses. I wanted it. Just like I go out and buy everything Danzig and Cooper ever do. -Zombie has a vision, and I always want to see what is next. I have been hooked on that pretty bloodsucker for years. Educated Horses is sexy and sleazy. The lyrics are horror show. That kind of shit just turns me on. -If you are one of the sexy people, you are gonna love Educated Horses. If you are ugly and never get laid, it just may give you some hope. Lets look at the tracks:
Sawdust In The Blood-Sexy guitar intro. This is almost like foreplay or a prolonged strip tease. It gets in your head.
American Witch-One of the worst things that every happened was the Salem Witch trials. A bunch of men tried to control a bunch of wild women. Innocent people died. Shit, Rob probably saw it first hand.
Foxy, Foxy-Sexy music. Deep lyrics. I had a vision of a female serial killer luring her prey in when I listen to this song.
17 Year Locust-Classy opening to go along with the opium heat rash lyrics. Hypnotic guitars. – I can already see this song gaining some cult status-its weirdly anti-drug in a fucked up Zombie sort of way. -Maybe it could be a part of a PSA.
The Scorpion Sleeps-The ultimate control song. Only a vampire could tame a scorpion, anybody else would go crazy. -Cool ass beat on this song. GOOD GOD, its almost POPULAR. It brings KMFDM to mind.
100 Ways-Haunting little into that brings up NIN with its soft industrial style. It feels like somebody is hunting when you listen to it.
Let It All Bleed Out-Some idiot is going to call this an evil clown song or drag racing song. -This one is a commentary on life and its big dead end. John 5 is very vicious on guitar with this.
Death of It All-Helen Lyle-don’t we all know a big phony who puts on a show? -Side shows at the carnival is a newer Zombie theme. You are gonna love the slow creepy feel of this.
Ride-Not a drag racing song. This one is about letting go, period. I am a psychic and a fucking genius…the song is vicious, angry and sexy.
The Devil’s Rejects-The movie, the movie, the movie. Serial killers have always fascinated me, and they fascinate everybody else too. How else does Jeffrey Dahmer get on the cover of time and how do all of those A&E Specials get made? -In a very real sense, this makes Zombie a massive death metal influence.
The Lords of Salem-God hates the Lords of Salem. -Cooper is the reincarnation of a witch that was killed in Salem. This one is for Alice.
Look, even if Zombie is a vampire-this album kicks ass. Don’t hate him because he can sing and entertain you. Love him, before he has to write a song about you!