This is a fucking true story about how I learned about Alice Cooper. Everyone has some kind of evil sibling; mine was my oldest brother Charlie. He loved Cooper as a teenager. One day I was eight, my friend Raymond came over and we cut up all my brother’s monopoly money. We thought we had to cut the dollar up for the coins. We were young, bored and wanted to do something fun. Well he found his game, and I admitted to the ‘crime’. The crime was FUN. He got even with me the following Christmas. He took my fucking Baby Tender Love Doll that I waited all year for, and did the cover of Billion Dollars Babies. Then, the COCKSUCKER put Baby Tender Love next to me in bed, and I woke up to that CHRISTMAS MORNING. Baby Tender Love was a mess. He took the blame for nothing. The war over this doll has been going on for 32 years, but I do thank the asshole for introducing to Alice Cooper. Charlie darling, this part of the article is especially fucking dedicated to you. It is a ‘how much I love my older brother’ present. Happy birthday Charlie, you fucking Pieces FUCK. I still love you. Baby Tender Love and me.
Baby Tender love was not Alice Cooper’s fault. It was the fault of the Pieces. Cooper was just introduced to me that way. I listened to Charlie’s Billion Dollar Babies album several hundred times until I wore it out. To this day, Alice, Baby Tender Love, and me have kept the secret about who wore out Charlie’s album. At this point, I made sure I brought myself most of Cooper’s work. I have loved Alice ever since. Who would think he would make the cover of Forbes before the Glitter Twins? Here we go again, Alice does not need a Big Red Tongue on top of The Garden, or an HBO special. Cooper is a phenomenal businessman. He has never given up on himself from day one. He one of the first to admit going into detox, which gave him a fresh outlook on his music. Marilyn Manson wants to be Alice Cooper. He could never be Alice. There can be only one! Alice’s music was the first to be shocking, scary, and mainstream. I think it is great that Cooper went on tour the same year as the Stones. He kicked their collective ASS with tour dates and talent.
Dragontown reminds you of a young Cooper. His music is ass kicking. His music is dark, but from the heart. Dragontown is the best of Cooper’s work in one place. He releases a new song, Clowns Will Eat Me. The bonus cd has the new track, Go To Hell (live), Ballad of Dwight Fry (live), and Brutal Planet (remix). It also has two enhanced videos, Gimme and It’s The Little Things. The cd is exiting, because it is a bitch to wear out a cd. Vinyl goes pretty fast -wink-. Cooper’s music has survived the corporate machine, the religious right, and Tipper fucking Gore and her PMRC. The PMRC is a horrible mistake.
Parents to not have to be parents anymore, all they need to see is a rating. Cooper was the first one on Tipper’s hit list. Did he turn her down for a date at some point in time? Alice Cooper has not let Tipper stop him. He is just not a fucking fantastic musician, but a philanthropist as well. I never pegged him as a golfer.
Back to Dragontown, Cooper rises again as the One Who Was First with another hit album. Everybody has copied Cooper over the years, even David Bowie. Dragontown reminds us that Cooper started it all.
This time he is back for good. The album is massive, sensual, and perfect. I can honestly say, I wouldn’t change a thing on it. Alice’s voice is still going after all these years. There isn’t a crack or wrinkle in that voice at all. I still believe he’s eighteen and he likes it. The music is refreshing and needed. I bet it gets no airplay. What a shit that is! I am so fucking tired of Eminem, nothing against him personally. I am so fucking tired of the rap crappers that get called rock stars. I want to fucking scream and hurt people that think that shit is worthier to be on the air than Cooper. I want to tell people to open their fucking eyes. Somebody in their fifties is NOT washed up. Age is just a number. Good music is good music.
The album is one to add to your Cooper collection. You will see the music is just not metal, but a combination of rock, metal, and a little blues. It will be your loss if you do not give this album a chance. Damn you, GO TO HELL, if you don’t listen to this and go see the man on tour. Make sure you get this album for all of your Cooper lovers. I know I am getting a copy for my brother Charlie.