Johnny Solinger-Vocals; Rachel Bolan- Bass- Backup Vocals; Phil Varone-Drums-
Backup-Vocals; Scottie Hill-Guitar-Backup Vocals;
Dave ‘Snake’ Sabo-Guitar-Backup-Vocals.
Have you ever seen a Texas Horned Lizard?
That is where the term Horny Toad comes from. It is a big, ugly, toady looking
fucker. My fucking brother Charlie again-we all know about Charlie and his WEIRD
fucking fetishes by now, don’t we? When I was a kid, Charlie had a Texas
horned toad in a tank, nice gravel…real pretty. Charlie never took care
of his Texas horned toad, and you think he would have. By the age of seven he
knew there were 5000 types of roaches, and we don’t mean pot. But back to
the Texas toad, Charlie wanted a lizard and a snake. In the beginning, Charlie
took care of that Texas lizard-and you have to remember Charlie was about ten
at the time. The guy at the pet shop told him the lizard was a meat-eater. After
six weeks of spitting blood through his tank at Charlie, I found I couldn’t
disagree with the toad. If I could, I would spit blood at Charlie too. –My
mother who is a registered RN, who I also adore, put her paramedic skills to work
and took over. She did research on that Horned Toad and found out he was a vegetarian.
She also found out that when he was pissed at somebody, he would spit blood. –That
toad lasted for about six months before he died, Charlie’s snake got him.
Isn’t it funny how life repeats itself over and over again? Snake Sabo went
out and got himself a Texas Horned Toad-and this one IS a meat eater. When Johnny
Solinger sings, he spits blood and fire. As we all know, every Horned Toad has
a THICKSKIN. –I think the new Skid Row cd fucking rocks. The power behind
the music fucking grabs you, not to mention that I think Johnny Solinger looks
hot in those leather pants. He looks as good as fucking Morrison did in his leathers.
The members of Skid Row are like the points of a giant fucking pentagram, and
they all connect on ThickSkin. -ThickSkin isn’t a compilation cd-like the
stuff Aerosmith has put out for the last five years. It is new. ThickSkin is something
that you just want to keep playing over and over. The way Skid Row sounds on the
cd is the way they sound live. Skid Row doesn’t need golden circle seats
and high priced tickets to prove that they are real fucking musicians. –Let’s
talk about the fucking drummer, Phil Varone. Phil is a master-he just CLICK CLICK
BOOM BOOMS. I have never caught him making a fucking mistake. He knows exactly
what he is doing on that kit. He is so talented that he reminds me of a modern
day Buddy Rich. He makes those drums sing. You can just feel him pulsating and
driving himself into that kit. Phil is on another level of the universe, while
he is still on this plane. –Let’s go with Rachel Bolan on bass. He
is like Sid Vicious without the heroin. He is a sneaky little mother fucker. He
knows how to get your heart going on this cd from beginning to end. Rachel and
Phil are great together-they are like Batman and Robin. Bolan is Batman and Varone
is Robin. They are one hell of a combination. –Did you know that Scottie
Hill has GREAT dimples? Forget about his guitar playing a minute, his dimples
shoot lighting bolts when he smiles. He tries so hard to give a devilish grin,
be he has got this baby face. He tries so hard to be a bad ass, but he is more
like a little kid on his birthday when he is on stage. Mr. Dimples innocence goes
straight to hell once he starts playing. When you hear Scottie play, you think
of Wolverine going after Magneto. He just rips right into that guitar like he
is ripping your heart out of your chest. –Snake. What can we say about Snake?
He is so cuddly. He is so charming. He is the Prince Valiant of guitar players,
and I will bet he calls his guitar Guinevere. The two of them together just kick
ass. He doesn’t miss a note-EVER. He is a PURE metal guitar player. He deserves
some fucking respect as a guitar player. He has paid his dues, and somebody should
be kissing his ass now. –We are going to do something different this time
around. Skid Row deserves a reading. I read differently than most readers-I tell
it as I fucking see it. It doesn’t matter about the book definition of the
cards-there is no reason to spook the band; I have my own definitions that come
to me psychically. The reading is going to be on the band and the vibes off of
the songs on the cd. Time to play Tarot poker, and I am the dealer. Take it with
a grain of salt if you will, but this is what I see.
The deck we are using tonight is the Vertigo deck, and as they say on Dragnet-the
cards are innocent until proven guilty. Even before I pulled the cards, I knew
these boys were on a journey. Not on a journey to become the next Zepplin or The
Doors, or even Nirvana-though they have the talent of all three bands. I knew
they were on a journey to find themselves, and not as musicians but as people.
The members of Skid Row want people to accept them for who they are. –You
can hear that in New Generation, and you can see that in the layout of the cards,
the first position. The cards indicate that the band has had such a hard past
from beginning to now. They are on a different kind of journey. They aren’t
trying to be the old Skid Row, and people should not compare them to the past
but view them in the present. Lead singer, people you have to remember this…this
is coming clairvoyantly as well as through the cards. Everybody expects to see
Bach-and this is nothing against Bach…Back knew it was his time to move
on. We have to give the new prince a chance. Don’t expect to see the same
thing. Expect a vibrant soul who cannot fill Bach’s shoes, but will only
fill his own shoes. You can’t chose a book by it’s cover. You have
to read it. He has a love for his music, for his talent-for both singing and writing
and performance. Five of wands-is the album going to be a hit or not? The band
wonders about it every day. They are going to be a hit. Def Leppard wants them,
and everybody thought Def Leppard would never come back. Def Leppard came back
from the grave. Now Skid Row has. Ace of swords-The band is scared of remarks.
Scared of journalists reviews. Scared of being compared to the same old thing-and
they are not the same old thing. My interpretation of the nine of swords in the
layout indicates a change in life patterns. They will have their ups and downs,
but once the public sees what they have produced cd wise and live-they will see
the spirit of the old Skid Row and the birth of the new Skid Row. Eight of wands-wonderment
again. Take it easy on yourselves guys. You know each song tells a story, and
each one of you have a story. Stop worrying so much. The album will be a hit by
late December/early January. This is my prediction. Five of pentacles-money. This
will be your best and worst year of touring until after January, and don’t
beat yourselves up over it. Just keep moving. King of swords-Snake. Take it easy
on yourself. The same thing goes for Rachel and Mr. Dimples. Don’t you see
that you have Solinger and Varone are backing you? Do you think they are going
to let you down? They might give you doubts at times, but fucking you over ain’t
gonna happen-at least for now. Like they say keep your enemies close, and it is
not Solinger or Varone.
Eight of pentacles-money money money. Here comes the land of perfect and the money
trees like the Walgreen’s commercial. As I said earlier, you may not see
it right now, but it is coming. The World-Accept what you have, or you will lose
it all. The Magician-We know who that is don’t we Snake? You are the center
of the pentagram. You hold that thing together like glue. Bolan is the other magician.
Together, they are a crystal ball. Mr. Dimples keeps it shining. Ten of wands-wonderment.
Ten months of rebuilding yourselves, and you all don’t think you have a
hit but you do. Let the energy of the music feed the universe. The Devil-Watch
your finances. They are going to be tight, and it is going to be somebody close.
The High Priestess-Varone. He is your High Preistess. He will back your ass no
matter what, it could also be Solinger. It is very odd when you are reading a
band. When you see Solinger and Varone, you see the scales. Believe it or not,
these boys are your henchmen. They will protect you no matter what. Three of wands-come
on boys, stop worrying about money. Page of pentacles-the money will come in,
but slowly. The album will climb. Just give it time. The hangman-don’t change
your label. Don’t sell yourselves to a corporate label. Be who you are,
keep that label alive. It is time for you to start bringing in baby bands to feed
energy that Skid Row needs-and not like a psychic vampire. Give those little guys
a chance, and they will kiss the ground that you walk on. You say it in your song
–New Generation. You seen what the corporate machine has done to you, and
now you are starting from scratch. Nobody will take you down this time. The only
one that can take you down is yourselves, and you won’t let that happen.
Two of cups-keep your appreciation for all music, but never lose your roots or
you will lose yourselves and you will have to start again-and I don’t want
to see that for you. Nine of wands-stop playing mind games with your selves. Swallow
me; I am not going to be what you want. You either accept us or you don’t.
Knight of pentacles-I know who you are, and we aren’t playing the same poker
game again. Why weren’t you honest with us in the beginning-and I am not
talking about the now, I am talking about the past. Isn’t it funny, payback
is a bitch and revenge is a mother fucker. Don’t worry, those nightmares
will end boys. Five of cups-broken hearts. Nobody is going to take anything away
from you. You are a spiritual unit. Honesty is the best policy. Johnny don’t
worry-Bach can’t swallow you. You are your own man. Ace of wands-just keep
being yourself Johnny. Here is a hint, don’t become Ian Astbury. You deserve
your leather pants, they are Johnny’s leathers.
Wheel of Fortune-that wheel is spinning. It is all good. It is all fucking good.
This time it is going to last. To me, the wheel of fortune is something to keep
spinning here-don’t look for it to stop, because the minute it does we are
going to worry about you getting lost in the mist again.
I read the band I felt they needed it. They deserved it. I know from the album
alone that it is psychically based and they are letting everything out-and they
don’t even see it. This reading could probably go on for another twenty
fucking pages. Usually, I psychically interpret each song individually-but I knew
from the minute that I saw them live at the Hi Fi Buys in Atlanta that the cd
review was going to be a reading. I could just feel their energy and see their
spiritual connection. I could see the pentagram on stage between all of them.
They are just not a band, they are a family. If the music world doesn’t
start respecting them, they are just going to keep fighting back because they
have THICKSKIN. I like the energy of this cd. The music is full of life. If you
were to ask me to compare them to anybody, the only one I could compare them to
would be Skid Row. MusicIncider wishes them luck and prosperity on their new tour,
I feel everything will work out fine as long as they take their time. Signing
off, the Tarot poker game is over. For more information, give me a call boys-or
go buy the fucking album.
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