I was innocently watching television. The scene keeps playing over and over
in my mind. Jay Leno says that his musical guest will be The Doors. The
Doors, I say to myself. The Doors. I had not been drinking.
I had not been inhaling. Surely, Jay Leno must have been inhaling. My
curiosity got the best of me, and I watched on.
Imagine my surprise when I saw Ray Manzarek and company on the stage of The
Tonight Show with a Jim Morrison impersonator. My first thought upon
hearing this new edition of “The Doors” was that the Jordaneers
one of those Elvis impersonators from Vegas and start a new band. Hell, why
can’t Elvis be on tour and make new cuts of his old albums. “The
played “Light My Fire” on The Tonight Show. Honestly, it was a horrible
fucking freak show. Why not find Morrison’s illegitimate son, and have
real heir to the throne up there?
Ian Astbury, formerly of The Cult, was the Morrison impersonator. Finally,
someone has made a case to me for heroin being a good thing. After this man
stopped doing smack, he cut his hair and his music went straight to hell.
The only clue that ANYONE had that they weren’t looking at a genuine
Morrison impersonator was the Planet of the Apes ring that Ian had on his
hand. What the hell was Ian thinking? Everything that was The Cult wilted
and shrank on Leno. Why the hell did he dress like Morrison? Why the hell
did he make an attempt to sound like Morrison when he is not Morrison? He
can’t lift a fucking pinky to Morrison.
What the hell was Ray Manzarek thinking? I would love to ask him. Why not
Scott Wyland? For that matter, if we needed an actor, why not Val Kilmer?
At least Kilmer sounded like Morrison. Why not the great Glen Danzig?
Danzig may not look like Morrison, but at least he could achieve that
classic Morrison sound. There can only be one answer. Everybody needed the
money, and they must have thought they could fool a generation of fans that
have only been exposed to The Doors through a movie. Joe, the CEO, must
have needed the money. We all know BMR Records is owned by Ray Manzarek,
John Densmore, and Robbie Krieger, and we can’t forget good old Danny
Sugarman, the manager. I am curious. How much did BMR line the dirty
pockets of NBC with to put on such a charade?
If Morrison is dead, he must be turning in his fucking grave. The one thing
he hated was smack. He was a drinker and a smoker. The only heroin user he
put up with was his own true love, the late Pamela Corson, who died two
years after he died. If Morrison is alive, what the fuck did he think of
this charade? Will this bring him out of retirement for a comment? He
would probably spit in all of their faces.
I do not fucking believe this. Morrison got pissed off when “Light My
was sold for a car commercial. Now, they are defaming one of the greatest
musicians of all time. Jim was the first anti-corporate musician. He
believed in the words and the music, not some funny fucking stage show.
We all know, Jim and his family did not get along. I wonder if they saw the
show and approved of it. I do not think they would have. This makes me
wonder if the Morrison Tribute was really an audition to find a front man to
take The Doors back out on the road. Next, we will be seeing Janis Joplin
and Jimi Hendrix back out on tour. Maybe Lenny Kravitz or Prince will be
Jimi. Are they going to try to make Courtney Love be Janis? Courtney,
being the cancer that she is, would probably jump on board in a red hot
minute since she needs the work.
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